GROCERIES YOU’LL NEVER SEE OUT OF STOCK
Right now there are two types of people in the world. Those who hoard all the toilet paper, and those who don’t.
Grocery stores around the city are seeing items fly off the shelves as New Yorkers brace themselves for the impending weeks of a spring spent indoors.
Most of the obvious staples have been MIA for the past 2-3 weeks; from hand sanitizer and paper towels to soaps and other logical the-end-of-the-world-is-upon-us cleaning supplies. The fact that these are now next to impossible to find makes sense to us.
But venture in and around our various neighborhoods and you’ll find a few comedic signs of that area’s food preferences. At grocery stores for our west coast neighbor, LA, for instance, it’s not only hard to find non-perishable classics like pasta and bread, but you’ll also struggle to see tofu and chickpeas restocked.
Here are 10 funny things that New Yorkers won’t be caught dead buying – pandemic or not!
- Chocolate Hummus from Trader Joes
Even when the world is ending there is nothing appealing about this weird combination.
- Pineapple Pizza
It’s against our nature to buy frozen pizzas in the first place, with $1 slices in an abundance around the city that actually taste delicious. But quarantine causes us to act out of character. Yet no matter how far we stray we will never buy pizza with ham and pineapples on it. Never.
- Mac & Cheese
Whether it’s because staying home makes us act like we’re on a health kick or the closure of all our gyms has us watching our ~figures~, it seems like no one in New York is digging the frozen Mac& Cheese from Trader Joes.
Could it also be for the maintenance of a slim figure? Doubtful at best, as every other pasta varietal known to mankind seems to be swept from the shelves. New Yorkers are fine feasting on gnocchi or orecchiette, but lasagna gets the last laugh.
5) Cous Cous
I mean, do you know how to cook that? Clearly none of us do either.
6) Store-bought Bagels
Bread is bread and bagels are bagels. At least to any self-respecting Long Islander. They would never eat a bagel that doesn’t come from a deli with half a pound of cream cheese schmeared on top. And don’t even get us started about the Cinnamon Raisin flavor.
7) Dasani Water
This is the raisin bread of waters. Poor Dasani.
We also thought all fruit and veg would be cleared out but clearly people have an aversion to carrots. And all this time we thought that a carrot a day kept the eye doc away…or something like that.
9) Peter Pan Peanut Butter
So many of us have had to stray from our favorite brands given the shortage of pretty much everything on shelves. But whether you’re team JIF or Skippy, it seems no one chooses Peter Pan.
10) Hot Dogs
We only eat these one day a year. And even then, they’re the last to go after all the cheeseburgers and Impossible Burgers and basically everything else at the BBQ gets devoured. If you haven’t seen the What The Health documentary now’s probably the time.